Welcome back to Thursday Chronicles, where we talk about real-life struggles, because if we don’t laugh about them, we might just cry. Today, we’re diving into a topic that hits home for many of us: being a broke Nigerian youth.
Whether you’re waiting for your first job, managing an internship stipend, or just trying to survive Lagos, we all know the struggles of navigating life when your account balance is doing hide and seek.
1. “How Far? Let’s Hang Out” – A Trap
The moment a friend says, “Let’s hang out,” just know that they’re planning to finish your money.
Because in Nigeria, hanging out is never free. There’s food, drinks, transport, and before you know it, someone will say:
“Let’s just order small shawarma.”
Small? Small where?
Next thing, the bill is ₦15,000 and you’re sitting there wondering if you should disappear or fake a phone call.
2. Data Is Expensive, But You Can’t Afford to Log Off
You might be broke, but you still need to be online. How else will you check job updates, reply WhatsApp messages, and laugh at memes to forget your suffering?
Unfortunately, Nigerian data finishes faster than your salary. One minute, you’re scrolling through Twitter, the next thing you see is:
“You have used 90% of your data.”
And you haven’t even watched a YouTube video!
3. “God When” – A National Anthem
Being a broke youth means constantly seeing your mates enjoying life while you’re at home eating noodles.
- Someone just bought a car? “God when?”
- Another one is in Dubai? “God when?”
- Someone posted an engagement ring? “God when?”
Meanwhile, your own “God when” is about when your bank will stop sending you debit alerts.
4. The Art of Price Negotiation
When you’re broke, every naira counts. That’s why when a vendor says “It’s ₦5,000”, you reply with:
“Ahn ahn, sister, last price na ₦2,000.”
Even if you know the item is worth more, you must negotiate—it’s in the broke people’s manual.
5. The Miracle of “Ajo” and Borrowing
At some point, every broke Nigerian youth has been saved by ajo (contribution money) or borrowing.
- Your friend gives you ₦2k today, you promise to return it “next week”.
- Next week comes, you borrow from another friend to pay the first one.
- The cycle continues.
And that’s how you become a financial strategist overnight.
6. Salary Week Is a National Celebration
If you’re working, the best week of the month is salary week. That’s when you feel like Dangote’s cousin.
For two days, you eat like royalty, flex a little, and even say things like:
“Don’t worry, I’ll pay.”
But by day three, reality sets in, and you start looking at your expenses like:
“Who sent me message?”
At the end of the day, being a broke Nigerian youth is a phase. One day, we will all make it. Until then, we’ll keep hustling, managing data, and avoiding unnecessary outings.
So, if you see a friend doing “big boy” today, just smile, because next week, they might be borrowing ₦1k for data.
Until next Thursday, stay strong and spend wisely!
