The “honeymoon” period in every committed relationship is not supposed to endure forever; eventually, it becomes clear that living a life with another person necessitates a unique set of abilities. Because our culture does not educate us on how to preserve and enhance our emotional relationships, many couples begin to drift apart years into their Marriage.
The seven concepts presented here, based on four decades of solid science, will help your love survive a lifetime.
Seek assistance early.
The average marriage waits six years before seeking relationship counselling. Remember that half of all marriages fail within the first seven years, This means that the average relationship is unhappy for far too long. Seek help if you see any signs of difficulty in your marriage early on.
The most successful couples are considerate to one another. When discussing sensitive matters, they resist stating every critical opinion, and they will find methods to convey their wants and worries politely without criticizing or blaming their spouse.
Soften your “launch.”
Arguments frequently “start” when one party intensifies the argument by making a critical or dismissive comment.
Gently bringing up issues without blaming works considerably better and helps partners to participate in disagreement calmly.
Accept your partner’s influence.
In heterosexual marriages, it is discovered that a relationship thrives to the degree that the husband is willing to accept influence from his wife. A husband’s capacity to be influenced by his wife (rather than vice versa) is critical since research reveals that women are already skilled at accepting male influence. A meaningful relationship exists only when both husband and wife can accomplish the same thing.
Have high expectations.
Happy couples have high expectations of one another. The most successful couples are those that refused to accept unpleasant behaviour from one another even as newlyweds. Low tolerance for negative behaviour in the start of a relationship implies a happier partner later on.
Learn how to repair and leave an argument.
Happy couples have learnt how to end an argument or mend the issue before it spirals out of hand.
Using humour; making a caring remark (“I understand that this is difficult for you”); making it clear you’re on common ground (“We’ll tackle this problem together”); backing down (in marriage, you often have to yield to win); and, in general, showing signs of appreciation for your partner and their feelings along the way are examples of repair attempts.
If an argument becomes too hot, take a 20-minute pause and agree to revisit the subject when you are both calm.
Concentrate on the good.
When discussing difficulties in a good marriage, spouses make at least five times as many positive remarks to and about each other and their relationship as negative ones. A cheerful couple, for example, will state “We laugh a lot” rather than “We never have any fun.”
A good marriage must have a positive atmosphere, Make consistent deposits into your emotional bank accounts.