Being broke in Nigeria is a unique experience. It’s not just about not having money—it’s a full-time survival job. From dodging creditors to stretching your last ₦500 for a week, every day feels like an episode of Squid Game.
If you’ve ever checked your account balance and felt the urge to apologize to yourself, this article is for you.
Here are the top seven struggles of being broke in Nigeria:
1. Your Bank Becomes Extra Friendly
When you have money, your bank ignores you. But the moment your balance drops below ₦1,000, you start receiving messages like:
“Dear Customer, we care about you. Here are some loan options.”
Excuse me? Why not reduce bank charges instead of offering me loans I can’t pay back? Suddenly, they remember I exist?
2. The Mystery of Vanishing Money
Your salary arrives, and for a moment, life is good.
Fast forward three days later—you check your account, and all you see is ₦2,450.
“Wait, what happened?”
You scroll through your transaction history and realize:
- ₦1,500 for data (because MTN and Airtel must eat).
- ₦4,500 for transport (because danfo drivers have no mercy).
- ₦10,000 for “urgent 2k” requests from friends.
- ₦15,000 for food, because you decided to “enjoy small”.
Now, you’re just staring at your phone like a horror movie character.
3. The Art of Dodging Debtors
Once you’re broke, your call screening skills improve.
- Your landlord calls? Ignore.
- Your friend you borrowed money from sends a message? Not today.
- Someone says “Check your WhatsApp, I sent you something”? It’s a bill. RUN.
Even your tailor that you owe ₦3,000 is sending “Good morning, dear. Just checking on you.”
Auntie, I am NOT fine.
4. The Prayer Warrior Phase
At this stage, you are no longer relying on common sense—you switch to spirituality.
- “God, remember me like you remembered Daniel in the lion’s den.”
- “Jesus, if you can feed 5,000 people, you can surely send me ₦5,000.”
Every church service, you are the first to shout “AMEN!” when they pray for financial breakthroughs.
5. Hunger Becomes Your New Friend
When you’re broke, food becomes a luxury.
- You drink water and sleep to confuse your stomach.
- You switch from three meals a day to one.
- You suddenly remember all the friends who cook well and start visiting them casually.
One day, you go out to buy food and hear “₦5,200”—you just start laughing in pain.
6. Your Detective Skills Improve
When you have money, you don’t check transactions. But when you’re broke, you investigate everything.
- “Who used ₦200 from my account?”
- “Why is Uber charging me extra ₦50?”
- “GTB, where is my ₦5 alert?”
You become a full-time financial analyst, questioning every single deduction.
7. The Joy of a Credit Alert
After all the suffering, the day you finally receive a credit alert—Hallelujah!
- Your phone vibrates.
- You see “₦20,000 has been credited to your account.”
- You scream in tongues.
Immediately, your behavior changes:
- You start smiling at strangers.
- You start pricing shawarma.
- You start sending “How far, long time!” messages to your crush.
Forgetting that bills are waiting for you.
Being broke in Nigeria is not for the weak. It builds character, teaches patience, and makes you humble.
But one day, we will make it. One day, our accounts will be full. Until then, let’s keep managing garri and vibes.
