The state of marriage in Nigeria today is nothing short of a paradox. On one hand, we celebrate elaborate weddings with the pomp and grandeur of a Nollywood epic; on the other, an increasing number of Nigerian men are avoiding the altar like it’s a crime scene.
It’s a trend that’s raising eyebrows and red flags. According to recent data, the marriage rate in Nigeria has been on a steady decline, particularly among young men. But why are our brothers fleeing from the idea of marriage? And what can be done to revive this sacred institution? Let’s dive into the heart of the matter.
The Decline of Marriage in Nigeria
Over the past decade, marriage rates in Nigeria have experienced a noticeable drop, particularly among men in their late 20s to early 40s. Traditionally, this age range was considered prime time for settling down, yet more men are choosing to delay or entirely forgo marriage. Several reasons underlie this trend:
- Economic Challenges:
The economy is one of the biggest culprits. The rising cost of living, unemployment, and underemployment have left many men struggling to make ends meet. A man who can barely afford to feed himself feels unprepared to shoulder the financial burden of a family. - Societal Pressures:
In a society that equates masculinity with financial prowess, many men feel they must achieve significant wealth before considering marriage. This pressure creates a cycle of delay as they pursue financial stability. - Fear of Commitment and Divorce:
The fear of failed marriages and the potential financial and emotional toll of divorce also deter many men. Failed marriages in the spotlight—whether of celebrities or neighbors—reinforce negative stereotypes, making men wary of entering what they perceive as a risky venture. - Changing cultural norms:
Modern Nigerian society has seen a shift in attitudes toward relationships. Some men prefer cohabitation or long-term dating over marriage, seeing these as less restrictive and less financially draining.
Why Marriage Still Matters
Despite the challenges, marriage remains a cornerstone of personal and societal growth. For men, its importance cannot be overstated:
- Emotional and psychological stability:
Marriage provides a support system and a partner to share life’s burdens and joys. Studies show that married men often enjoy better mental health and greater life satisfaction compared to their unmarried counterparts. - Increased Responsibility:
Being married pushes men to mature. The responsibilities of being a husband and, eventually, a father instill discipline, focus, and a sense of purpose. - Health Benefits:
Believe it or not, marriage can also be good for your health. Married men are statistically less likely to engage in risky behaviors and more likely to take care of their health, thanks to their spouses’ influence. - Building Legacies:
Marriage provides a structured environment to raise children, pass down values, and create a lasting legacy.
The Right Time to Marry
So, when should a man get married? There’s no universal answer, but a healthy balance lies in the late 20s to early 30s. By this time, most men have gained some financial stability, emotional maturity, and clarity about their life goals. Marrying too early can lead to regret and frustration if a man feels he hasn’t achieved personal milestones, while marrying too late can lead to difficulties in adjusting to the demands of family life.
What Every Nigerian Man Should Know About Marriage
If you’re a Nigerian man contemplating marriage, here are some truths to consider:
- Marriage is Not a Shortcut to Happiness:
While marriage can bring joy, it’s not a cure for personal issues. Work on yourself before seeking a partner. - Communication is Key:
Open, honest, and consistent communication with your spouse is essential. Silence and assumptions destroy relationships. - You Don’t Need to Be a Billionaire:
Yes, finances matter, but don’t let societal pressure make you think you need millions to marry. Start small and grow together. - Marriage requires effort.
Like a car, a marriage needs regular maintenance. Invest time, energy, and love into your relationship. - It’s a Partnership, Not a Dictatorship:
Shed the old-fashioned idea that a husband is the sole decision-maker. Marriage thrives on equality and mutual respect. - Love Evolves:
The initial spark may fade, but deeper love—rooted in friendship, respect, and shared goals—takes its place.
Challenging Stereotypes and Misconceptions
One of the biggest barriers to marriage in Nigeria is the negative narrative surrounding it. The stereotype that “marriage is a prison” or “all marriages end in divorce” is not only misleading but damaging. Yes, some marriages fail, but many thrive beautifully. The key lies in entering marriage with the right mindset and preparation.
Similarly, the belief that marriage stifles a man’s freedom is another misconception. A healthy marriage supports personal growth, encourages individuality, and provides a solid foundation for achieving goals.
The Path Forward
To reverse the decline in marriage rates among Nigerian men, a collective effort is needed:
- Economic Empowerment:
Government policies should prioritize job creation and support for young entrepreneurs. A financially stable society will naturally see higher marriage rates. - Education and counseling:
Men need access to resources that teach the realities of marriage. Premarital counseling can dispel myths and prepare couples for the journey ahead. - Community Support:
Families and communities should encourage marriage, not by imposing financial expectations but by fostering understanding and support. - Challenging toxic masculinity:
Men need to break free from the idea that vulnerability and partnership diminish their masculinity. True strength lies in building and nurturing a family.
In Conclusion
Marriage is not a trap, nor is it a finish line. It’s a journey—a lifelong partnership that requires effort, compromise, and love. Nigerian men must confront their fears and misconceptions, face societal pressures with confidence, and embrace marriage as a path to personal and societal growth.
To my brothers still hesitating: don’t let the fear of the unknown hold you back. The rewards of marriage—emotional stability, personal growth, and legacy-building—far outweigh the risks. So, start that savings plan, propose to the love of your life, and embark on a journey that promises growth and fulfillment. After all, the greatest risks often bring the greatest rewards.
