Emotional Intelligence is about the skills for managing interpersonal relationships and working effectively with and through people to achieve results. Emotionally intelligent people know how to manage their thoughts, words and actions and project the right attitude in their interactions with others. The Think-Say-Do Model challenges us to improve our emotional intelligence by focusing on these:
#1: The Things We Think
Our thoughts are very important in shaping our world-view, attitudes and actions. We have to feed our thoughts with the right “food”. We must be deliberate about our beliefs and values and strive to keep reinforcing the positive beliefs and values that we have. We can also be deliberate about negative beliefs and perceptions that can affect our thinking. For example, your thinking about “women”, “gay people”, “ethnicity”, “religion”, “race” will no doubt affect your attitude, choices, words and actions regarding same. Our thoughts are not only influenced by our beliefs and values but also by the external influences that we allow to affect us. Social media, TV, internet and peer pressure play a big role in shaping our thoughts, especially when we allow them to do so.
#2: The Things We Say
While ourthoughts can determine the things that we say, emotionally intelligent people are able to moderate their words, ensuring that they convey respect, tolerance, openness and appreciation for the people with whom they interact. Emotional intelligence also requires you to be firm when you need to and convey your firmness and seriousness in a professional manner. Being able to listen with empathy to the views and thoughts of others especially when they are different from yours is a hallmark of emotionally intelligent people.
#3: The Things We Do:
Our response to others and the way we engage with others also reflects on our emotional intelligence. Emotionally intelligent people manage conflict and difficult conversations properly. They are disciplined, focused and deliberate; they work effectively in teams – collaborating and cooperating with others to achieve common goals. They are visionary, innovative, and adaptable to change.