It often starts with shared laughter, frequent texts, and maybe even regular sleepovers. You’re investing time, energy, and maybe even emotions—but when the topic of “what are we” comes up, they casually say, “Let’s not rush things.” Just like that, you’ve found yourself in what many now identify as a situationship—a connection deeper than casual flings, yet not quite a full-fledged relationship.
In Nigeria and around the world, more people—especially Gen Z—are experiencing this blurred line between friendship and partnership. You might cook meals for him, she might invite you to her family functions, and yet, neither of you can confidently say you’re in an official relationship.
So what happens when one person wants something more? Is it possible to shift a situationship into a committed relationship? The short answer is yes—but only if you’re willing to stop avoiding the truth and initiate honest conversations. Here’s how.
1. Reassess Your True Intentions
Before making any moves, it’s important to pause and examine your motivations. Do you truly want a relationship with this individual, or are you just looking for clarity to relieve anxiety? Sometimes, the fear of being alone can be misinterpreted as affection. Ask yourself if you genuinely appreciate the person beyond routine, comfort, or physical chemistry.
If the answer is yes, proceed with purpose.
2. Be Transparent About Your Emotions
This is perhaps the most difficult but most essential step. You can’t “vibe” your way into something lasting. If you’re seeking commitment, you need to verbalize it clearly—not via subtle tweets or cryptic comments.
Consider opening the conversation with: “I really enjoy what we have going on, but I’d like to understand if we’re aligned about where this is heading.” This keeps the tone calm but intentional. If their response includes ambiguity or avoidance—like “Let’s not label this”—you likely have your answer.
3. Don’t Get Trapped in the “Maybe” Zone
One of the most common mistakes in a situationship is lingering too long in the ambiguous “Let’s see where it goes” territory. The truth is, if someone wants to be with you, they will be. Nobody is too busy for commitment—they’re just not prioritizing one with you.
Give them a fair chance, but if after a reasonable time (weeks, not years), there’s still no clarity, it may be time to walk away.
4. Redefine Your Role in the Dynamic
Many people unknowingly sustain a situationship by acting like a partner without ever asking for the title. You’re always around, sacrificing your own time, perhaps even skipping dates with others, yet there’s no label.
To spark change, adjust your behavior. Start creating space. Let them notice what life feels like when you’re not always available. Start exploring other connections. Build a fulfilling life outside this dynamic. It’s not about playing games—it’s about living in alignment with your needs and worth.
5. Set a Personal Timeline
No ultimatums are necessary, but having a personal boundary is crucial. Decide how long you’re willing to remain in this undefined situation before it transitions—or ends. Whether it’s three weeks or three months, set a private deadline. If the bond doesn’t evolve within that time, consider it a cue to re-evaluate and possibly walk away.
Know When to Say Goodbye
It’s important to understand that not every situationship is meant to transform into a relationship. That doesn’t reflect on your worth or desirability—it shows you had the courage to seek clarity and respect for yourself.
You deserve someone who doesn’t hesitate to commit, who’s proud to call you theirs, and who meets you at the same emotional depth.
