Welcome to another edition of Thursday Chronicles, where we dissect life like hot suya on a plastic table, with just the right amount of pepper and common sense. If you’ve ever needed help but still said ‘I’m fine’ with tears in your eye and ₦437 in your account, this one is about you, for you, and maybe even written by you.
There’s something deeply ironic about adulting: the older you get, the more help you actually need — but the harder it becomes to ask for it.
You’ll be going through a financial crisis, emotional wahala, mental overload, or full-blown life confusion, and someone asks, “Hope you’re good?”
You smile.
You say, “Yes o, I dey alright.”
Meanwhile, your chest is doing zuga zuga like a faulty gen.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
We’re walking around with heavy hearts and full phones, surrounded by people we chat with daily, yet we’re dying in silence. You need urgent ₦5,000 but you’d rather watch your account enter minus than “disturb” anyone. You need someone to listen, but you keep pretending you’re “just tired.”
Asking for help feels like weakness, like shame, like failure. You start hearing voices in your head like:
“What if they think I’m a beloads, it feels wrong to say, “Abegload, it feels wrong to say “abeg, carry small for me too.”
Other times, it’s trauma. Maybe the last time you asked for help, the person used it to embarrass you. Or they turned your pain into gossip. So now, you’d rather act like a superhero in a worn-out cape than risk being vulnerable again.
But here’s the truth nobody tells you: strong people also break. Brave people also cry. And even the helper needs help.
You are not weak because you’re overwhelmed. You are not irresponsible because you’re broke. You are not a burden because you need support. You’re human.
And the thing is, people can’t read minds. Your friends might love you deeply, but if you always look like you’re “handling it,” they won’t know when to step in. You have to speak. You have to say something. You have to ask.
And no, not everyone will show up — but someone will. Sometimes the person who helps you won’t even be the one you expect. It might be a distant friend, a colleague, a sibling you rarely talk to, or even a stranger on the internet who just gets it.
Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re helpless. It means you’re wise enough to know that life is not a solo sport. Nobody wins alone.
If your friend needed something, you’d show up, right? So why don’t you believe someone would do the same for you?
Say it. “I’m not okay.”
Say it. “Please, I need a favor.”
Say it. “Can you help me?”
Say it, and give people the chance to love you out loud, not just with vibes and emojis.
Thanks again for joining Thursday Chronicles, where we say the things everyone’s thinking but nobody wants to admit.
Whether you’re the strong one, the quiet one, or the one silently screaming inside — know this: it’s okay to lean. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to reach out.
Same place, same time next Thursday. Until then, may your help come without shame, may your heart find softness, and may you never walk through life pretending to be okay when you’re not.
