It’s another Thursday for our weekly Thursday Chronicles, where we turn trauma into tales and gbas gbos into giggles. Today, we’re unpacking a very Nigerian mystery: how our parents show love… without ever saying the word.
Let’s be honest, growing up in a Nigerian home is a unique experience. You may not have heard “I love you,” but you definitely heard:
“Did you eat today?”
“Come and take this ₦500, don’t tell your siblings.”
“Don’t disgrace me outside!”
Romantic? No.
Affectionate? Ehn… not really.
Love? 100%.
Let’s break down the top-tier Nigerian parental love languages:
- Feeding You Like You’re a Baby Goat
You might be 27 years old with a job and rent, but enter your parents’ house and they’ll ask, “Should I warm the rice?”
Before you even answer, you’re chewing turkey.
Food is their love language. If they fry extra dodo and hide it for you, congrats, you’re the chosen one.
- Insults That Are Actually Compliments
“I don’t know who you took after in this family, because it’s not me!”
Translation: You’re doing well, but I don’t know how to express it emotionally, so I’ll insult your whole lineage.
The sharper the tongue, the softer the heart. Nigerian parents will use tough words to cover soft feelings. It’s not abuse (most times). It’s just… coded affection.
- Threats That End in Gifts
“Better pass that exam or don’t come back to my house!”
You cry, read like your life depends on it, and then, boom, they buy you a new phone or cook your favorite soup.
That’s called “emotional budgeting”. They save up love and release it after maximum pressure.
- Random Acts of Service at Odd Hours
Ever had your mum quietly iron your clothes for Monday while grumbling about how you don’t fold your clothes properly?
Ever had your dad top up your data when you didn’t even ask?
They may never say “I’m proud of you,” but they’ll fix your broken slippers before you wake up.
It’s in their actions. You just need “emotional Bluetooth” to receive it.
- Using Your Full Government Name for No Reason
If your mum calls you by your full name — first, middle, and last — while handing you food, just know emotions are running high.
It’s her way of saying, “You’re mine. I suffered for you. Eat and be great.”
Love, Nigerian style, is dramatic.
- Their Prayers Are More Intense Than Your Goals
No one prays harder for you than your Nigerian parents, not even you.
They’ll wake up at 3 a.m. and bind and cast your village enemies, your boss, your haters, your crush, and your data plan in one prayer session.
They may not hug you, but they will cover you in the blood of Jesus like it’s spiritual sunscreen.
- Checking On You by Asking the Most Random Questions
“Have you been adding weight?”
“Are you eating?”
“Do you have gas in your cylinder?”
“Where are you now? I heard there’s traffic in that area.”
It’s never, “How are you really doing?” But deep down, they’re trying. They’re loving you the way they were taught — tough love, strong hands, soft heart.
Nigerian parents are not exactly romantic, but they are real. Their love may come with noise, threats, and unprovoked insults, but it’s love nonetheless. It’s love that “cooks, pays school fees, prays loud, and hides meat for you”.
So the next time your mum says, “Better go and marry before I leave this world”
Just know… she means “I want you to be happy and taken care of.”
Their methods may be different, but the love? It’s real, rooted, and (mostly) unconditional.
That’s it for this week’s Thursday Chronicles — where we turn family trauma into relatable content. See you next week, same time, same sass. Until then, may your parents hide meat for you and not your feelings.
