Bullying. It’s a word that sends shivers down the spine of any parent. In Nigeria, with a strong focus on respect and community, bullying can feel like a betrayal of those values. But the reality is, bullying exists in our schools, and it’s crucial for us to be aware of the signs so we can support our children.
As a journalist who grew up right here in Lagos, I’ve seen the impact bullying can have. Kids bottle things up, their grades slip, and their smiles fade. That’s why I wanted to delve into this topic and offer some insights to Nigerian parents. Here are the top 7 signs your child might be facing bullying at school:
- Changes in Mood and Behaviour: This is a big red flag. Has your usually bubbly child become withdrawn or moody? Are they easily frustrated or tearful? Pay attention to sudden changes in appetite or sleep patterns. These could all be signs that something is bothering them.
- Physical Injuries and Damaged Belongings: Keep an eye out for unexplained cuts, bruises, or torn clothes. Bullies might try to trip, push, or shove your child. Listen for excuses about how the damage happened – these could be indicators of a bigger issue.
- Loss of Interest in School: Is your child suddenly struggling in school or showing a lack of interest in attending altogether? Bullying can make them feel unsafe or anxious, impacting their concentration and motivation. Pay attention to complaints about stomachaches or headaches right before school – these could be signs of anxiety.
- Changes in Friendships: Has your child distanced themselves from their usual friends? Are they reluctant to talk about school activities or who they spend time with during breaks? Bullying can damage friendships or make your child feel excluded.
- Fear of Taking the Bus or Walking to School: Is your child suddenly asking for rides or expressing fear of the walk to school? Bullying can make them feel unsafe on their commute.
- Loss of Possessions: Are your child’s belongings – lunch money, homework, favorite toys – going missing frequently? Bullies might steal or damage these items.
- Secrecy and Hesitation to Talk: Does your child seem secretive about their school life? Are they hesitant to talk about their day or avoid certain topics? They might be afraid to tell you they’re being bullied for fear of getting in trouble or making things worse.
Remember, these signs don’t necessarily mean your child is being bullied. But if you notice a few of them, it’s definitely worth having a conversation.
Here’s what you can do:
- Create a Safe Space for Communication: Let your child know you’re always there to listen, no matter what. This open communication is key.
- Start a Conversation: Instead of a direct accusation, try open-ended questions like, “How’s school going?” or “Is there anything bothering you at school?”
- Listen Without Judgment: Once they open up, listen patiently without interrupting or getting angry. Validate their feelings and let them know you believe them.
- Work Together on a Plan: Discuss different options. Depending on the severity, you might need to involve the teacher, principal, or even a school counsellor. Reassure your child that you’ll support them every step of the way.
Bullying is a complex issue, but by being aware of the signs and taking action, we can create safer school environments for our children. Remember, you are not alone. There are resources and support systems available to help you navigate this situation. Don’t hesitate to reach out and get the help your child needs.
Together, let’s build a future where our children feel safe, respected, and empowered to reach their full potential.
