Welcome once again to Thursday Chronicles, your weekly emotional support column disguised as vibes and cruise. If you’re the kind of person who keeps saying “Let’s link up soon,” but it has been two years and no linking has occurred, don’t worry, we’re all in this messy adult friendship soup together.
There was a time when friendship was easy. You’d meet someone in class, exchange biscuits, borrow pencil once, and boom, best friends for life. You didn’t need to overthink it. You saw each other every day, shared notes, gossiped about teachers, and fought over who got to sit at the window side in the bus.
Fast forward to adulthood, and making, or keeping, friends feels like trying to win a scholarship during ASUU strike. Hard. Confusing. Frustrating. Everybody is busy. Everybody is stressed. Everybody is managing one life problem or another. One person is chasing career. One is fighting rent. One is married and breastfeeding. Another is in Canada posting snow pictures while you’re in Lagos dodging flood.
Even planning a simple hangout now feels like solving a jigsaw puzzle blindfolded. You’ll say, “Let’s meet up,” and the back-and-forth begins:
“What time?”
“Where?”
“Is it on the mainland or island?”
“Let’s reschedule, please.”
You reschedule it so many times, the vibe eventually dies of natural causes.
Friendship now lives in group chats. And even those are struggling for oxygen. Someone drops “Happy new month” and the rest respond one hour later with emojis, if they respond at all. The group that once buzzed with memes and daily updates is now as dry as a forgotten WhatsApp status. Everyone has silently muted it, but nobody wants to leave so they don’t look like a witch.
Then there’s the pressure. Some of us are dealing with personal stuff we don’t even know how to explain. Depression, financial stress, imposter syndrome, family drama, all bundled up in a smiling profile picture. So when your friend doesn’t check in or go ghost for weeks, it’s not beef. They’re probably just overwhelmed. Or broke. Or both.
Also, adult friendships are no longer built on proximity. Back then, it was easy, you saw each other in school, church, hostel, everyday. Now, people live in different cities, different time zones, and sometimes even different realities. You’re talking about NEPA and they’re talking about daylight saving time. How do you maintain a friendship when the only thing you currently have in common is your MTN number?
And don’t forget the emotional part. Friendships require effort, checking in, remembering birthdays, listening without judging, showing up when it matters. But life keeps demanding so much from us that we barely have enough to give. We’re tired. We’re overwhelmed. Sometimes we forget to be good friends, not because we don’t care, but because we’re running on E (empty).
Still, when the friendship is genuine, it survives. Maybe not with daily calls or constant texting, but with understanding. With, “I know we haven’t talked in weeks, but I still love you.” With “I saw this meme and thought of you.” With quick prayers, inside jokes, and soft reminders that you’re not alone.
Adult friendship teaches us that real connection is not always loud. Sometimes it’s in silent loyalty. In being there when it matters most. In forgiving the silence and choosing each other again and again, even when life tries to pull you apart.
So yes, friendship in adulthood is hard. But it’s not impossible. You just have to be intentional. Call your friends. Send that voice note. Laugh about old memories. Cry if you need to. Life is hard, but friendship makes it softer, even if it’s once in a while.
Thanks again for showing up for another episode of Thursday Chronicles, where we say the things your group chat has been ignoring.
Whether you’ve got ten besties, two close pals, or you’re currently carrying all your friendship in one “LOL” reply, just know this: You’re still loved. You’re still thought of. You’re still valued, even in silence.
Same table, same gist next Thursday. Until then, try texting that one friend you’ve been meaning to check on. Life is short, but that message might just stretch the friendship a little longer.
