Thursday Chronicles: The ‘I’m around the corner’ syndrome – A guide to Nigerian time

Hello, my fellow Punctuality-Strugglers! Welcome back to the weekly gathering of people who set five alarm clocks for 6:00 AM but only truly “wake up” at 8:45 AM. If you are currently sitting in traffic, telling someone on the phone that you are “entering their street” when you are actually still looking for your second shoe under the bed, pull up a chair. This one is for you.
Today, we aren’t talking about the economy or the Plateau. We are diving into a cultural phenomenon that deserves its own Olympic category: Nigerian Time (N.T.) and the art of the “White Lie” that keeps our social lives moving.

In Nigeria, distance isn’t measured in kilometers; it’s measured in Creative Storytelling. If you’ve been on either side of a phone call today, you need this dictionary:

• “I’m on my way”: Translation: I just stepped into the shower and the water is cold.
• “I’m entering the street now”: Translation: I am currently at the bus stop arguing with a conductor over 50 Naira change.
• “I’m looking for parking”: Translation: I haven’t even reached the bridge yet, and the traffic is moving like a snail with a limp.
• “Just give me five minutes”: Translation: See you in forty-five minutes, by the grace of God.

Why are we like this? Scientific research (done by me, just now) suggests that Nigerians possess a unique biological clock. We believe that an event scheduled for 10:00 AM actually means “10:00 AM is when the organizers will start sweeping the hall.” If you show up to a Nigerian wedding at the time written on the invitation, you will find yourself helping the caterers arrange chairs and listening to the soundcheck. Being early in Nigeria is often punished with “labor,” which is why we’ve collectively decided that 12:00 PM is the “spiritual” start time for a 9:00 AM event.

There is also a social hierarchy to Nigerian Time. The more important you are, the later you must arrive. If the Chairperson arrives on time, they lose “levels.” They must wait until the hall is full, the AC is finally working, and everyone is sufficiently hungry before they make their “Grand Entrance.” It’s not lateness; it’s Strategic Positioning.

While we laugh, the “Nigerian Time” habit actually has a name in sociology: Polychronic Time.

• Monochronic cultures (like Germany or Japan) see time as a linear pipe—one thing at a time, very strict.
• Polychronic cultures (like ours) see time as a flexible web. We value the interaction more than the clock. If we meet an old friend on the way to a meeting, the relationship is more important than the 9:00 AM start.

However, in the global “Remote Work” era of 2026, our polychronic vibes are clashing with Zoom calls. You can’t tell a client in Tokyo that you are “around the corner” when they can see you are still in your pajamas on the webcam!

Key Take-Home Points for the Chronically Late

• The “Buffer” Strategy: If you know you take one hour to get ready, tell yourself the event starts two hours earlier. Trick your own brain.
• Respect the “Monochronic” Boss: If you’re working for a global firm, “I’m coming” doesn’t work. Use Google Maps to send your real-time ETA. Technology is the enemy of the Nigerian lie.
• The Punctuality Pride: Being on time is actually a “flex.” It shows you are in control of your life. Try it once a month; the shock on people’s faces is worth it.
• Communication is Key: If you’re going to be late (and let’s face it, you probably are), call before the time, not thirty minutes after.

Lessons to Carry into the Weekend

• Set Your Watch 10 Minutes Ahead: It won’t solve the problem, but it will give you a false sense of urgency that is quite exciting.
• Don’t Be the “Vibe-Killer”: If everyone agreed to meet at 4:00 PM for a movie, don’t show up at 6:00 PM when the credits are rolling.
• Forgive Your Friends: When your friend says “I’m almost there,” just say “Okay” and keep scrolling on TikTok. You both know the truth.
• Cherish the Moment: The reason we are late is often because we are enjoying the present. Balance that joy with a little bit of respect for the clock.

As we wrap up this “Chronicles of the Clock,” I want to wish everyone a weekend where you actually arrive at your destination while the food is still hot. Whether you are “around the corner” or “stepping out now,” may your journey be swift and your excuses be believable!

See you next Thursday, I’ll be here at 10:00 AM sharp (which, in Nigerian, means roughly 11:15 AM)!

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